Strawberry Panic Epilogue The Angel's Last Gift
by Ixthedamned
Summary: Set 4 years after the series ended, Hikari is living with Amane in a dorm room at a city university while Yaya whiles away the time as assistant librarian, married into money. One day, Hikari turns up on her doorstep and begins a spiral of change that won
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As usual, I have nothing to do with the characters involved in this story, I just enjoy extending storylines to my own twisted yuri ends. Any similarity to persons living or dead is definitely coincidental. This story will also be posted on my blog Panic Epilogue: The Angel's last gift

_Chapter 1_

Yawning, I snatch my first cup of thick steaming coffee from the machine, down it in one and make a face. Usually I hate coffee, especially black; I'm more of a half cream half sugar kind of girl. But since the new chief librarian transferred in, he's been making all the clerking staff work late. Not that I have anything to come back to, you understand, but a girl's got to have the time to herself in the evenings.

I quickly glance at my watch and make a start for the door, just as the call comes from upstairs.

"You're off to work awfully early today, ojou-sama," Nadeshiko, our one and only maid daintily trots down the spiral stairs towards me and I mutter a silent expletive under my breath.

"Yes, well I thought that I would arrive early before the boss and get some work done this morning so I wouldn't have to arrive home so late tonight," I replied, slipping on my shoes a little quicker than usual.

"Very well, ojou-sama, but be aware that goshujin-sama is expected back early this evening, and he will expect you to be there to welcome him home. His business trip to the UK was quite trying, I believe"

"I remember, Nadeshiko. Don't worry, I won't be late, I'll be back long before he gets home."

I slide back the door and find an angel on my front step. Her long, light brown hair tumbled down to her hips in five neat plaits bound in powder blue ribbons. Her legs, longer and slenderer than I remembered, peeked bashfully out from under a matching blue sundress. Our eyes met.

My Angel.

"Hikari-chan…"

—————————————————-

I woke up in a daze this morning, rolling over and almost tumbling headfirst out of the bed and onto the threadbare carpet. As I opened my eyes, I realised that Amane had already left this morning for lectures, and that the usual breakfast lay on the small kitchen table, happily nestling in clingfilm.

I stretched a good morning to stiff muscles as I slipped on my dressing gown and padded slowly over to inspect it. As usual, the fish was far too salty. As usual, the miso was thin and tasteless. I sighed, picked at the fish for a while, sieved the edible bits out of the soup and dumped the remainder unceremoniously in the swing bin. Amane's tomboyinshness extended to her cooking, and it was past my ability to refuse her an opportunity to cook for her. Unfortunately, no amount of cooking for Amane in the evenings could avoid the inevitable love-wife breakfast. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate the thought, it's just that I wish that she didn't have rocks for tastebuds.

Still hungry, I padded back over to the dresser and carefully pulled out the clothes that I had spent hours choosing last night after Amane had gone to sleep. The sundress that Yaya had given me as a graduation gift was now a touch too small and displayed more than its fair share of leg and cleavage, but I could think of nothing else more suitable. The straw hat with the matching blue band. My Etoile ribbon cut carefully into five for tying into neat minute bows.

A post-it note had been stuck to the entry for today in my diary. The address wasn't far, just in the next town, but for some reason, a little tremor passed through me as I peeled the note free. 'I am just going to apologise to her, nothing more,' I thought to myself, 'Just apologise and then we can go back to being the good friends we were before.'

Suddenly, I find myself outside her door, but as my hand raises to knock, my mind goes blank and all the carefully thought out things-to-say tumble out of conscious reach. What if she doesn't forgive me? What if she's all but forgotten me? But then the door opens and I see her. She's dressed formally in a severe grey business suit and white blouse. Her hair is still as long as it used to be, but now it hangs in a graceful ponytail all the way to her waist. As the wind blows stray wisps of hair across her face, our eyes meet and I know for certain that I have always loved her.

End part 1


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

"Hikari-chan?" Yaya carefully unloaded two more mugs of her scalding nemesis (though this time with cream and three sugars). Hikari's head snapped away from the window she was staring out of and shot her a wan smile as she occupied the chair opposite and cupped the warm mug.

"Thank you, Yaya-chan," Hikari inhaled and sighed as she felt the bitter aroma unwind her frayed nerves. After a rather stilted silence on Yaya's doorstep, they had decided, despite Hikari's protests that she could come back another time, to go to the cafe down the street for "a quick chat". Hikari quickly ran through all the things she had wanted to tell Yaya, quickly deemed them all inappropriate for a "quick chat", and nearly fell out of her seat in surprise as the girl opposite her reached over and poked her in the nose.

Yaya laughed and suddenly the tension seemed to flow out of the room. "Honestly, Hikari. You're still as spaced out as you used to be in high school." Her hand gently clasped Hikari's across the table and the years since they last met seemed to melt away. Suddenly, she found herself talking, telling Yaya about anything and everything that had happened since she had left high school. Yes, she was still in university, final year now. Yes, she was still with Amane, they were doing well. Yes she was singing, but studying in the final year meant that there was much less time for doing what she wanted.

As she listened to herself rattle on, Hikari was careful to gloss over the important points. She didn't want to scare Yaya away this early in their reunion. Yaya for her part just sat there, absorbing everything Hikari had to say, occasionally nodding to show that she was still listening. As Hikari ran out of things to say and her voice trailed off, Yaya drained the last of her coffee, stood up and smiled at her.

"Thank you, Hikari, it's good to know that you're doing well, but I really must go to work now, or my chief is going to yell at me all morning. I'm sorry, perhaps we can meet again for a proper talk some other time?"

Hikari nodded, bewildered as she felt the adrenalin drain from stress tense muscles. Her own mug, still full, steamed merrily beside her.  
"Then, let's say tomorrow evening at 6? I should be finished with work by then." Hikari nodded again and Yaya said her farewells and left swiftly. As the cafe door closed behind her, Yaya sighed and finally allowed herself to relax. Things were going to get a little complicated from now on...

------------------------------------------

After their first meeting at the cafe, and against yaya's better judgement, these evening soirees became a regular fixture. Yaya went from high strung, tranquiliser popping nervous every night to actually looking forward to seeing her old high school crush. Suddenly, she found that listening to Hikari's soothing voice enthuse about new developments in her field at university, Amane's latest sporting triumphs or other such meaningless chatter, was just the thing to calm her down at the end of a long day at work.

Although she was careful not to say too much about her own life, she did think it unfair not to at least let slip a few juicy details. She enjoyed watching Hikari's jaw drop when she told her that she'd married into money. Once she even met Hikari in the morning and took her to the library. Unfortunately, Hikari had gotten rather overexcited, knocked over an entire bookshelf and spent the rest of the morning bowing in apology to the chief librarian as Yaya snickered unhelpfully in the background. 'It's almost like old times," Yaya almost thought, then immediately chastised herself. It would never be like it used to be before Amane. She could never take back what she had done to Hikari as much as Hikari could take back her choice of Amane over her. They weren't 17 anymore. Things had changed. She had changed.

It was a wet day in September when everything changed. It was 5pm and Yaya was getting ready to head off home. The library had been closed early for the day and the rest of the staff had already gone home. Yaya locked the book store and flicked off the last of the overhead lights. Pulling her coat on, and grabbing her umbrella, she headed towards the door. Checking her watch once to make sure she wasn't going to be late, she opened the door to come face to face with a rather wet and bedraggled Konohana Hikari.

She looked a complete mess. Her usually lustrous hair hung in rat tails framing red rimmed eyes that streamed with tears mingling with rainwater. Her blouse was soaked transparent and her long denim skirt stained dark, dripping a puddle on the faux marble floor. Just as Yaya was reeling from the shock, HIkari flung sodden arms around her neck and suddenly those beautiful blue eyes were mere centimetres from her own. Yaya took a sharp breath and felt the blood rush to her face. And then came those words that she would remember for the rest of her life.

"I love you Yaya-chan."

And then Hikari's lips were pressing against her own and she felt herself melting into the moment. Her good side was screaming at her that this wasn't right, that she could never be the person you wanted her to be, all those years ago. And what about Kaoru, her husband. And what about Amane? The other side of her was busy stamping on those thoughts and shouting at her to just shut up and enjoy it. However, she was brought to her senses abruptly as she felt Hikari's hand slide tentatively across her stomach and down underneath the waistband of her skirt. She caught the hand in her own and opened her eyes.

"Hikari-chan, I..."

"Yaya-chan, I...I'm so sorry!" before Yaya could finish her sentence, Hikari burst into floods of fresh tears and buried herself into the taller girl's shoulder. Yaya comforted her until her wails had softened to sniffles at which point she carefully disentangled herself from Hikari's tight embrace and offered her a handkerchief which was accepted gratefully.

"Can I stay at your house tonight, Yaya-chan?" Hikari whispered, her eyes still fixed on the floor.

Yaya found herself saying yes.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

The patter of the shower was still going strong as Yaya stepped into the ante-room and tried her hardest not to fixate on the silhouette clearly outlined on the frosted glass door.

"I'll leave some fresh clothes here, Hikari-chan. I'm afraid you'll have to wear something of mine, though…" Yaya called through the door. She thought she heard some kind of affirmative grunt and stepped back into the hall. She had sent Nadeshiko home for the night with a phonecall before they had reached the house, citing that she was just too tired and that she would not be needing her services this evening. No use having that nosy maid making things even more complicated than they already needed to be. Kaoru was away on business again, this time in Hong Kong - at least a little closer to home.

Taking a deep breath and curling her fingers around her rapidly cooling tea, Yaya forcefully shoved thoughts of Hikari in the shower into a filing cabinet for later and crunched her mind back into gear for the job at hand. 'Something is wrong,' she thought, then instantly fought back the urge to shout expletives at how obvious that last statement was. 'Something must have happened between Amane and her. That bitch. If she's done anything to hurt Hikari, I'll…'

Thankfully, that line of thought was interrupted by the soft click of the shower door as Hikari slowly shuffled into the room and knelt at the low table opposite Yaya, head still bowed. Yaya pushed the remaining cup over to her and smiled. Hikari was wearing the old red t-shirt with the flower design that she had worn through their days in the Ichigo dormitory. "I must have picked it out of the old clothes pile without thinking. Gomen, Hikari-chan," she apologised. Hikari looked up from her tea, noticed, and smiled a little as well.

"It's ok, Yaya-chan, it brings back…good memories," Hikari's expression faltered, as her eyes misted over and tears threatened to fall again. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm sorry for what I did to you tonight, Yaya-chan. I…wasn't myself."

"It's ok, Hikari-chan," Yaya replied, softly, "I've never forgotten how quickly you forgave me for the same thing not so long ago." Hikari's expression softened slightly, and a spark of relief seemed to light up in her eyes. "Now tell me. What's wrong?" Yaya prompted.

Hikari sighed a world-ending sigh and mentally prepared herself, reaching beyond barriers she had spent months building, for things she never thought she would have ever told Yaya, just for fear that it would irretrievably ruin their newly rediscovered friendship. The only thing she could hope for, she thought to herself, was some kind of happy ending.

"I think you might have guessed by now, Yaya-chan," Hikari began, in a quiet voice, "but today I broke up with Amane. Now, before you say anything, " Yaya had opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it and closed it again, "I was the one to break it off."

"I had known for a long time that Amane was…interested in boys, " the way Hikari stressed 'interested' had a ring of disapproval. "It all started when we left Astraea for university. Yaya-chan, I never realised how sheltered we were there, not a man within 5 miles of the place. I'd always supposed that it was not so bad for you, you always were the worldly one, Yaya-chan. But for me…" she hesitated, "I took it rather worse." Hikari's expression took on a far sadder tone, and Yaya resisted the urge mightily to lean over and hug her and settled instead with what she hoped, was a sympathetic smile.

"I'm ashamed to admit it, Yaya-chan, but I became quite an androphobe. I mean, I have nothing against men, bu just the thought of their smell, their bodies just made me feel queasy. But at that time I had Amane to protect me and everything was fine. I'd never even dreamed of what was going on in Amane's head up till that point, but suddenly I noticed that she was starting to change. She started coming out of her shell and staying late for socialising after her club events, then she started growing her hair out and wearing make up. When I asked her about it, she shot back with how it was important to look good if you wanted to make friends." Hikari's hands trembled slightly as she held her cup, "I…cried that night. For the first time since I left Astraea. I felt that Amane was growing away from me, that she was just leaving me behind. But then things seemed to improve, she apologised, and we started spending more time together."

"Then came the questions - 'Have you ever wondered what it would be like if I were a man, Hikari?', 'Have you ever thought that we were missing out on something that normal couples have?' I became terrified that she was just a few steps away from saying that our love was unnatural, that she really wanted to fall in love…with a man."

Hikari looked up, her face now streaked with tears which she wiped with a clumsy swipe of her arm. "That was when I started looking for you…I thought, "her head dropped again, "I thought that we could start over. I really needed a friend, and I didn't know who to turn to… All my coursemates were supportive, but they didn't really know what to say. I was so happy when I finally tracked you down, Yaya-chan, but scared at the same time. But when I saw you standing in that doorway, I realised…I realised that I…I…"Hikari stammered, her voice accelerating. "I'm so sorry, Yaya-chan! I never realised…how much you loved me, how much it must have hurt you when I rejected you and chose Amane. Oh Yaya-chan, I missed you so much. Please forgive me, Yaya-chan, please…forgive…" As Hikari dissolved into floods of fresh tears, Yaya shuffled around the table and gently took her into her arms, feeling her shake with each sob as she pressed her against her chest.

"Shh, shh Hikari-chan." Yaya stroked her friend's damp hair as she comforted her, "I never held any grudge against you for who you chose back then. It was only fair…you…loved Amane and you couldn't love me." Hikari couldn't detect even a trace of bitterness in Yaya's voice and felt her tears subside a little. "So what exactly did you say to Amane this morning, Hikari-chan?" Yaya enquired, loosening her grip a little and allowing herself to savour the feeling of Hikari's warm body pressed against her own just a little.

"I told her that it wasn't working, that she wasn't the Amane that I fell in love with. And that…that…I'd found…someone else." Hikari looked up. For an instant, brown met blue and subconsciously, Yaya gulped.

"Uh, Hikari-chan, this isn't right, " she stammered, inching slowly backwards, even though the smaller girl made no move to advance. " I mean, you've just broken up with Amane, and I'm a married woman now…"

Hikari's eyes dropped and her shoulders seemed to sag a little. "I'm sorry, Yaya-chan…It's just, I don't want to be alone tonight."

—————————————————-

'How the hell did it end up like this?' Angel Yaya was yelling at her in her head again. Her head itself was feeling like she had just attempted to climb Everest without oxygen, with the sheer amount of blood rushing to it. And with good reason. When she had finally got Hikari to sleep in her and Kaoru's huge double bed, she had climbed in beside her, keeping a respectable distance, of course and Hikari had instantly rolled over onto her, murmuring some nonsense about purple kittens.

Forceful replacement resulted in a few minutes of relief, then the inevitable shuffling sound and a pair of slim dainty hands playing havoc with her nerve endings again. At this present moment, a mass of hair (presumably also a head) was nestled firmly against her left breast while a part of Hikari rather warmer than the rest of her rubbed sinfully against Yaya's thigh. She had had to replace Hikari's south wandering left hand twice and was currently wondering whether Amane had this problem every night and how that girl got any sleep with Hikari in the bed.

"I'll never get to sleep," she groaned, before unconsciously drifting off.

—————————————

"Yaya-chan?"

Yaya opened her eyes blearily, still half asleep and then blinked in shock at Hikari's face not centimetres from her own. "Hikari-chan, what are you…"

Hikari shushed her with a finger to her lips. In her eyes, the same sadness as earlier that evening was still there, but alongside came a spark of determination that Yaya hadn't seen before. She started getting worried.

It was then that she realised that Hikari was naked.

"I know this is wrong, Yaya-chan, but tonight I need…you. Please don't be angry. Just consider it…a parting gift. After this, you needn't see me again. I'll just disappear and you can go back to living your life like you did before. I…I love you, Yaya-chan".

"Hikari-chan, I…" Yaya was silenced again, but this time by the press of urgent lips against her won. As she felt herself surrender, Yaya thought she felt the warmth of a tear fall onto her cheek, but then she felt Hikari descend to suckle on her neck and she was irrevocably lost.

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

The first ray of sun filtering through the curtain made Hikari grimace and press her pillow against her face. Rolling over onto her back out of the sunbeam, she opened her eyes and stared at a ceiling she didn't recognize. Gradually, thoughts and memories swam into focus like bubbles in a sea of oil. She sat bolt upright and looked around. She was sitting in a huge four-poster bed, the sheets and blankets tousled and rumpled as if something more-than-just-sleep had occurred the night before. Beside her, a very Yaya-shaped indent in the foam mattress signaled the absence of her partner in crime.

Suddenly, she blanched as she remembered that she had planned to leave in the morning before Yaya woke up. The very thought that she would have to face Yaya after what they had done the night before made her heart do loop-the-loops in her chest…and not in a good way. Panicking, she ran to the window and leaned out only to reconsider after discovering that they were on the third floor. And additionally that she was naked and couldn't quite remember where she had thrown her clothes before assaulting her ex-best-friend the night before. Well, she presumed ex anyway. Hurriedly, she started rummaging through the dresser drawers to find something to wear, but it everything was better fitted to Yaya's rather more ample frame and wasn't anything that she felt fit to be seen in running shoeless away from a town house at 7 in the morning.

She was busy considering using the sewing machine she had found in the corner to quickly fix one of the offending items for a girl of rather smaller bust size and then using the sheet as a makeshift parachute when Yaya backed into the room holding a tray of something under a metal lid that could well have been breakfast, judging by the smell. But then again, breakfast didn't usually smell so rich and sinful in Hikari's neck of the woods where the usual daily fare was cold rice and oversalted grilled fish carcass.

Yaya smiled wanly at Hikari salivating over the breakfast plate and pushed a cup of milky coffee into her waiting hands. "Hikari…" she began hesitantly. Hikari double took at Yaya's dropping of her childhood honorific but then remembered that since last night, honorifics were probably somewhat inappropriate. Yaya did a sharp U-turn. "Never mind. Eat breakfast first, then we have to talk."

Hikari's frown at these ominous words was short-lived as the lid was lifted and her face lit up like a Catherine wheel on fireworks night. She looked up at Yaya, questioningly and Yaya almost fell over backwards from the cuteness.

"It's Eggs Benedict, Hikari" she said, and Hikari noticed that she was careful not to pronounce the vowel sound on the final "to". "Kaoru insists that we have muffins baked for us every day since he got hooked on them in England. I can't stand them myself, so they'll just go stale while he's away…" Yaya looked back at Hikari, but the plate was already being attacked with the voracity of piranhas on fresh Amazon explorer. Subconsciously, Yaya thanked whatever deities were present that Hikari had actually had the wisdom to put on some clothes before she had walked in therefore making the whole "serious talking" business quite significantly less full of distractions. However, said clothes consisted of one of her dress shirts that was far too baggy on Hikari's slight frame and a pair of her old strawberry print panties. 'In fact', Yaya grimaced, 'she's probably even more alluring than she would have been naked.' This line of thought brought back images of their early morning escapades and Yaya blushed up to her ears.

Hikari polished off the last of the Eggs Benedict with a wipe of the accompanying piece of toast and let out a contented sigh. "Thank you, Yaya-chan…I…never realized you were so good at cooking. You always seemed to be bunking off cooking classes. So I thought…"

"You were expecting the worst, right?" Yaya laughed and took up the napkin to wipe a stray crumb of English muffin from the corner of Hikari's lips. Hikari felt a little heat rise inside her at the touch, but she did not pull away. "Well, I guess having lazy parents counts for something in life," Yaya continued, "You learn pretty quickly if all you get otherwise is takeaway yakisoba and convenience store onigiri."

Hikari nodded, "I feel like I know something more about you, Yaya-chan. I never realized until last night how little I know about you, while you must know everything about me." Her head sagged, "But I intend to keep my promise, Yaya-chan. As soon as I'm dressed, I'll leave and you never need to see me again. I'm sorry I was so selfish last night, Yaya-chan, I was just thinking of my own needs. I…"

Yaya stopped Hikari with a shushing finger to the other girls lips. "Hikari, there's no need to keep punishing yourself for what happened last night." Yaya smiled kindly at the rather shocked girl. "It…takes two to make love and I was, let's say, more than a willing participant. So you can stop apologizing, Hikari, because last night was wonderful. In fact, it was probably the best night I've had since…well, for about 3 years."

Hikari's mouth was open wide enough to catch flies and Yaya gently closed it with her index finger. Out of all the reactions Hikari had expected Yaya to have to last night, this admittance was definitely not one of them. Amane had never been the most adventurous lover, and when it came down to it, Hikari felt downright inexperienced. In fact, one of the scenarios she had entertained was that Yaya would reject her on the basis that she had had better sex with men. Now that would be the ultimate insult…

"But I…", she started to say, before the finger came to shush her again.

"I feel that I haven't really been fair with you, Hikari." Yaya's voice was little more than a whisper. Hikari caught a glimpse of the sadness in her eyes before the armour returned and Yaya's eyes regained their steel-hard gleam. "I've told you so little about myself whereas you've all but bared your soul to me. You deserve…to at least know why I didn't let you run away this morning. I owe you that much." The bedsprings creaked as Yaya sat down on the bed beside Hikari and Hikari felt every muscle in her body tense in expectation. She resisted the urge to screw up her eyes tightly and roll into a ball in the corner just in case the truth that was going to be revealed was the kind which should be locked in an iron box and sealed in glass twenty thousand feet down.

Yaya took a deep breath and began.

"I never really spoke very much about my family did I…" Yaya's voice took on a nostalgic air and her eyes glazed. Hikari stared in wonder at her old friend, suddenly realizing that all the years that she had known her through their time at Astraea, how little Yaya had talked about herself. It occurred to her that they had always got on so well and talked so easily that she had never even thought to ask where Yaya went in the holidays, or who that person that came in the black limousine to pick her up after exams was. Whenever she had casually slipped it into conversation, Yaya had always smoothly slipped into another gear and changed the subject and Hikari had thought nothing of it. She turned herself toward her friend, taking her hand in her own, determined not to miss a word. Yaya was slightly taken aback by the sudden contact and tensed slightly at the tiny jolt of emotional static that ran up her arm but she pulled herself together and carried on.

"My parents were…well, are, you could say, quite well off. 'One step from royalty' my mother used to say. We had homes all over the country, but over the holidays I stayed in the family home in Kyoto where my mother usually resided. Well, you might have noticed that I tended to stay up on Astraea as long as humanly possible, so I guess I use the term holidays loosely."

"Did you not get on with your parents?" Hikari's voice startled even herself. Quickly she shut her mouth. Yaya smiled.

"Well, you could say that…My parents belonged to the old school nationalist Japanese society circles. My father had a highly paid, low responsibility job in some administrative company or another while my mother waited at home for him to come back, cooked mediocre imitations of Japanese meals when she felt like it and cleaned the house umpteen times. They were so stuffy and uptight, it was hard to imagine that I had been conceived at all…I started to think that I was adopted. My mother used to give me long lectures on the weekends when my father was on business trips on the greatness of Japan and how I needed to grow up to be like her and marry someone important to do my part for society. Apparently this also meant drinking a small lake's worth of father's whisky and having the maids follow her around clearing up the mess she left behind. My father was a distant figure, since he was almost never home, although I cannot for the life of me think of a reason that his job would keep him late. I started to suspect that he was sleeping with his secretary – even though his secretary was a man."

"I was left alone for long periods of time, so I naturally started to rebel. Several times mother had to haul her horrific foundation caked visage down to the police station where I was being kept for various different crimes. I joined a youth gang, who quickly came to respect that I wasn't just a pair of precociously large breasts with legs, but that these legs came with a fearsomely accurate knee attached. There were a few times while I was at my last school that mother caught me fooling around with one of them on the doorstep just after my curfew. When the last time involved one of the girls of the group, something inside her snapped and suddenly I found myself with bags packed in the family limo carted off to some distant school where I could have no contact with any of mother's so called 'bad influences' ever again. The fact that I got sent to an all girl's school and the things that go on in such places seemed to have escaped the limited vista of mother's imagination. I was given a set of specific orders – to straighten up and get over this rebellion, or come back to a set of changed locks and complete excommunication. Father probably agreed. He probably never noticed, since I can't remember the last time when he and mother actually slept in the same room."

"And so grudgingly I began to try and not integrate into Astraea society as much as possible, looking to find other outlets for my rebelliousness. But after several incidents of being pulled up in front of the Sister for various acts of petty vandalism, I was made to join a club. The club, as you know, was the choir. I chose it because singing was one of the one hobbies that had survived the neutron bomb of my childhood and because I could skip off practices as much as I wanted."

"And that was when I met you. At first glance I fell in love with you; just the way you held yourself, how beautiful you were standing behind the cathedral that day, how I could talk for hours with you about nothing. As the year rolled on, I found that I was thinking about you almost all the time and getting possessive when anyone even got close to you. You probably didn't know this, but at the time, you were my only friend. Not even Tamao-san or Nagisa-san I could really count as real friends – you were the reason I kept going to those tea parties. Just you; nothing else." Yaya stopped abruptly and Hikari blushed at the sudden attention and let go of Yaya's hand. Yaya picked up the slender hand from where it lay on the bed and squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Hikari…but it feels good to get this out once and for all."

"No, Yaya-chan. I'm sorry that I never paid any attention to you all this time, I just was so caught up in my own problems that I…"

"I'm just as guilty for keeping this from you, Hikari…you were my dearest friend, but I just never realized that I could trust anyone with all this, especially since it mainly concerned you. There were so many times I wished I could tell you but the words kept dying on my lips. But then on that morning you met Amane-san and things accelerated just that little bit."

"First I want to apologise again for what I did that night, Hikari." Yaya looked over to her friend who was shaking her head vehemently. "Even taking my feelings at the time, it was inexcusable. After that…I…expected that you would choose Amane-san over me, but when you gave me that final answer, I…" Yaya stopped to wipe a tear running down her cheek. "I broke that day, Hikari," she finished, sadly.

"You probably didn't notice after that, since you and Amane-san were spending every waking moment…" Yaya coughed politely and changed tack. "with each other. I kind of became a hermit. I spent a lot of my time in the room while you stayed round at Amane's dorm, just sitting on the bed with your things, smelling your smell, or dreaming up more and more outlandish ways to win you back and ride off into the sunset on a stupid white horse…"

"But when I thought that I was well on the way to becoming a complete social recluse, she was there. That pink haired _tsundere_ from the first year…Tsubomi." Yaya replied to Hikari' questioning look. "First she just took to coming into the room without asking and sitting beside me on the bed, not talking, just being there. At first she was just annoying since I was wallowing deep in my own stupid sorrow and wanted to be left alone with my own thoughts. When I told her exactly what I thought of her barging into my pigsty of grief, she just bluntly told me to get over you and that if you didn't want me then that was just her loss and not mine."

"There was just something in that thinly veiled affection that struck a chord with me and made me wonder just why I had spent so much time trying to wall myself off and pretend that if I was missing for long enough eventually you would come on that white horse and ride off with me into the sunset."

"I can't quite remember when Tsubomi and I became more than just friends," said Yaya, as Hikari coughed up a mouthful of cold tea in surprise. Yaya reddened as she realized the implications of her last statement. "We never did anything serious!" she spluttered. "She was underage! Sometimes we would spend whole nights just kissing and talking. Not even deep kissing, but she used to do things with just her lips that made me doubt that holding myself back would have made any difference whatsoever. She was 13 and I was 16, you had just started seeing Amane-san regularly at university." Hikari nodded, unsure now of what to think.

"We weren't always this perfect secret couple. Sometimes I would start reminiscing about you, or start doubting that it was a good idea dating a girl in secret two and a half years my junior and we would have blazing rows so loud that the sisters would come running convinced that there was an intruder vandalizing the halls. And she would slap me and storm out and I would slam the door behind her and sulk. And two days later we would make up like we hadn't seen each other in years and rows would be trodden underfoot like so many fallen leaves"

Hikari gulped down a lump in her throat and asked the question she wasn't entirely sure she wanted the answer to. "So how did it end?"

Yaya smiled wanly, "I remember it quite clearly. It was the evening before our graduation and you had popped down to Amane's to borrow her old graduation gown. Kagome dropped by my room to say that Tsubomi wanted to see me in her room. I was immediately suspicious…we always met in my room, as if it was by mutual agreement, though I'm sure we never decided such a thing. Also it was to avoid the prying eyes of Tsubomi's roommate who would have happily interrupted us at every possible opportunity just to annoy me. It was past lights out when I tiptoed down the corridor until I reached her door. The light leaked invitingly round the edges, beckoning me inside."

"I was just about to knock when I noticed the envelope taped to the door. It smelled faintly of rosewater and contained just two words: 'Come inside' written in Tsubomi's familiar cursive hand. As I stepped through the door, two things struck me – first, that this room really should have a fire extinguisher, for the number of candles that were currently burning on every available surface and in every available receptacle. The second was that Tsubomi was naked. And I mean absolutely, no-holds barred, Lady Godiva go home, we don't need you anymore naked. She was lying in a bed of dark purple rosepetals; her usual long hair was cut slightly shorter and free of her usual hairband, fell about her body with a gentle wave. Her body was curled in that bashful way that hid all the important parts. This was probably a good thing, since any other position and I would probably have swallowed my own tongue."

Hikari was just staring goggle eyed now. She had given up on feeling jealous a long time back and now just gawped at how much of her friend's life she had missed out on while she and Amane had been, let's not put it lightly, at it like newlyweds. Yaya ploughed on regardless, riding the flow of her memory.

"Just at that moment she turned her head to look at me. She didn't even need to say anything; her eyes said everything that was too obscene to repeat in polite conversation. Her arm moved slightly to beckon me over and my blood pressure skyrocketed. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would escape and run around the room. But then…I opened my eyes and I saw…you. God help me she looked so much like you that night, in that split second I remembered the reason I was running in the first place. My sick mind chose that moment to dredge out all those feelings I had stuffed back into the darkest corners for so long and it took all the courage I had not to run while every fibre in my body was telling me to."

"I think she saw the change in my eyes when I saw the flame in hers waver. Just when I started to tell her that I couldn't go through with it, her hand met my face with such a resounding slap that I fell back onto my knees, stunned. All that I could hear as the door shut behind me was shouted profanities and the sound of books impacting against hardwood. I've tried to talk to her since then, but I think she must have changed her number or blocked my calls…" Yaya sighed deeply and Hikari gave in to the urge to wrap herself around her. Yaya snuggled in closer to the other girl's chest, relishing the cotton softness and the safety of Hikari's embrace.

"Somehow I managed to graduate without seeing Tsubomi at all." Yaya picked herself up and wiped away a stray tear. "I returned home to find that my parents had finally got round to talking to each other and found me a husband to marry; a small-businessman by the name of Kaoru Oogami. Before I knew what was happening I was in a kimono and being bundled off to an o-miai. Somewhere in between my churlishness and general disobedience he must have found some charm because then I found myself with a date to be wed within two months."

"I have to admit that he wasn't a bad man. He wasn't there a lot, but he accepted that I was by most meanings of the word a trophy wife – there to look pretty and smile at public occasions or the odd times when we had friends round his small townhouse. He always brought me small gifts whenever he went on business trips and never expected anything else in return. He never expected anything of me…in the bedroom; but in answer to what you're about to ask," Yaya smiled at Hikari, who quickly shut her mouth, embarrassed. "I did occasionally repay him, in kind…" she concluded enigmatically and Hikari couldn't help but giggle at her friend's mischievousness.

Yaya paused, the obvious question hanging in the air. "No, I don't love him." Hikari breathed a silent sigh of almost-relief. "He is a lovely, kind man, but I have never thought of him as more than a friend." Suddenly, Yaya's arms were round Hikari in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you for listening to me, Hikari," she breathed, in a voice that played havoc with Hikari's tingling nerves. "I never thought I would be able to tell anyone, not even you."

The two girls peeled apart reluctantly. Hikari was overwhelmed; her head was whirling. Yaya had imparted so much in such a short time that her brain was struggling to process what it all meant. Did this mean that Yaya did love her after all or was she just trying to let her down gently?

"I really want to thank you for last night, Hikari," Yaya began slowly and Hikari sensed a change in the air, as if somehow a decision had been made that she had not been privy to. "It…set a lot of things straight in my mind, I think." She squeezed Hikari's hand gently. "You were so perfect, just like I always dreamed you would be. Amane…is a very lucky woman to be on the receiving end of that ferocious tongue of yours every night." She smiled. "I would have given anything for that."

The penny dropped in Hikari's mind. She felt a lump growing in her throat and took a deep breath.

"But Yaya-chan, I love you now, not her! Choosing her over you was a huge mistake…I…" She trailed off. Yaya smiled at her warmly.

"I know you regret what happened between us years ago, Hikari, but its ok. I got over you…although it took some doing. It was thanks to Kaoru and Tsubomi and dare I say it, my parents that I'm the person I am today. But that's just why I can't be with you now, Hikari. I know you love me, I feel it in every touch, every kiss. But part of that love is just rebound; you were unsatisfied with Amane and I happened to be there. Soon you will forget about me and you will fall in love with someone else, someone more suitable for you." She leaned in closer and cupped Hikari's cheek in her slender fingers. A tear welled in Yaya's eye. She blinked sending it running down to her upper lip and she licked it away.

"No Yaya-chan, no!" Hikari shook her head violently. There were tears in her eyes also and they ran rivulets down her perfect cheeks. "I love you! I just didn't realize it, I'll never let you get hurt like last time, Yaya-chan! Just please give me one more chance. I'll try my best, so please, Yaya-chan…please…" The last word dissolved into a wracking sob and she wrapped her arms around the other girl, holding on for all she was worth. Yaya's hand cupped her chin, forcing her head to angle upwards and look her directly in her face. Hikari opened tear-bleary eyes and the sight of Yaya's face so close to her own caused the next sob to think better of it and go back to hiding in the corner. Yaya's lips closed the last inch between them in a deep kiss that spoke volumes. Hikari moaned softly as Yaya suckled lightly on her top lip. Yaya's tears ran rivers to mingle with Hikari's own. All too soon for Hikari, Yaya pulled away, leaving her gasping a little, her cheeks flushed. She stared at her friend. Yaya's face was as it always had been, full of kindness with that hint of mischief always pulling at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were infinite pools of brown that made you feel that maybe drowning in them wouldn't be such a bad way to die. And then she saw. And then she understood.

"Whether I love you or not…that's not the problem, is it, Yaya-chan…" Hikari trembled a little as she spoke. "I see it in your eyes, you…can't love me any more. Not the way you used to. Because there's someone else."

Yaya sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry, Hikari. But she means more to me than anything, even you. After the way I treated her, I don't expect much, but you've given me the courage to at least give it a go. I owe her that much." She took hold of Hikari's hand again, cupping it between her own. "But I would like it if we could still remain…friends?"

Hikari nodded and managed a wan smile. "I guess I never really had a chance did I?" A stray tear welled at the corner of one eye and she fiercely wiped at it with her sleeve. "The ironic thing is…if I hadn't fallen in love with you then you wouldn't have realized that you were in love with her and I wouldn't have been rejected." She stared at the ceiling, willing the tears not to come. "If it's all right with you, Yaya-chan, I will always love you, even if you don't feel the same way towards me." She looked back at her. "I guess you could say I have a lot of unrequited love to catch up with."

Yaya smiled and pulled her into a fierce hug and Hikari melted into its warmth. 'Maybe it won't be so bad' she thought, 'at least we're together again, even if it's not in the way I want it to be.' She lay her head on Yaya's shoulder as Yaya ran her fingers through her tousled hair.

"Oh Hikari." Yaya sighed, "Someday you'll realize that I'm not the one for you and then you'll meet someone amazing who can make you happy. She'll have to go through me first, of course."

"I hope that eventually that person will be you, Yaya-chan." Hikari replied softly.

"You're a stronger person than me, Hikari. I could never have been so near you when I was so sure that you didn't love me."

"Well, someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't make any mistakes," replied Hikari, "And to pounce on you every time you do, of course," she added, grinning. "And anyway, you'll need someone to drink with after Tsubomi-chan kicks your ass into the gutter when you go and confess."

Yaya looked in wonder at her friend who was now wearing the most mischievous grin that she had ever seen her wear. She grinned herself. "It looks like there are still a few things I haven't gotten to know about you as well, Hikari."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Yaya-chan," Hikari replied innocently.

-------------------------------------------------

"Have you seen my Neuro textbook around anywhere, Kagome-chan?" Tsubomi called out, through a mouthful of toast. First years at medical school had to suffer through many things, not least a 9am start on Monday mornings with a lecturer considered by most to be that hardest-ass of them all, Professor Kinomoto of Neurosciences.

Tsubomi crammed in another mouthful of toast, grabbed her bookbag and headed for the door. She'd done the reading. Maybe that would be enough to blag her way through the tutorial without her textbook. Wiping the crumbs off her lips with a hurried sleeve, she flung open the apartment door and ran straight into a rather surprised black haired girl on the other side of it.

"That hurt! What the hell were you doing hanging round outside my door…" Tsubomi's fuzzy vision cleared. "Yaya? Is that you?"

Yaya grimaced and nodded, tentatively touching her forehead where a door shaped bruise was already forming. "Glad to see you're punctual as usual, Okuwaka-san" she replied.

What the hell. Neuroscience could wait a couple of hours.

End.


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

_Six months later_

Yaya whistled happily as she headed back to the small Kyoto apartment that she shared with Tsubomi. Her long black hair was loose to the wind but gathered at the bottom in a simple white cloth tied off with a black ribbon. In her hand swung a small giftwrapped bundle containing the "I was just passing and I thought of you" that is the secret to staying in the good books of any relationship. This particular gift was a black velvet choker that Yaya had thought would look divine together with the long satin-black dress that she had bought Tsubomi for Valentine's Day. She laughed, it was difficult not to imagine Tsubomi as that first year girl with the attitude problem, even after having known her for all these years. Needless to say that those stumpy legs had grown into long slender delicacies that stretched forever from the delicate curve of her ankle to her creamy thighs. Yaya blushed a little at the thought; maybe this gift would help her get a little further in Tsubomi's affections tonight. Ever since that day outside her apartment, Tsubomi had been understandably wary of her advances, and they had settled for "just giving it a go and seeing what happened". So far, heavy petting had occurred, but Yaya was playing it safe. You only get to mess up a certain amount of relationships in your life, she told herself. Better not risk this one…

She had divorced Kaoru a month after confessing to Tsubomi. He had been understanding and supportive as he had ever been and still paid her a monthly allowance which had allowed her to place a deposit on a downtown apartment, into which Tsubomi had moved in, citing lower rent and convenience (actually it was further for her to get to university this way, but Yaya wasn't complaining). Amane, after some harassment, had been placated and was now happily dating men. Her and Hikari were on talking terms, though one could describe their interaction as little more than cordial. And Hikari…well, Hikari was Hikari.

Yaya paused at the apartment door and listened for a moment. Through the metal plate, she heard muffled sounds of struggling and rustling sheets. She sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingers. Noisily, she jammed the key in the lock and slammed the door open.

The apartment was a single room, and the bed was opposite the door. On the bed, looking for all the world as if she had just gotten out of bed was a rather scantily clad Konohana Hikari. Luckily, since she was on her hands and knees, the silk dressing gown that she wore covered all the major areas, but if Yaya looked carefully (and she was trying her hardest not to) there was just the slightest hint of curve visible in the bust area and the cloth was riding rather sinfully up her inner thigh. She didn't seem to notice Yaya's entry. Yaya noted that this was probably because her head was buried between the legs of a rather red-faced, bound and gagged Okuwaka Tsubomi.

She sighed again and walked over to the bed to rap Hikari on the head. She looked up from her ministrations. Tsubomi's eyes opened, saw Yaya and bulged slightly. The sounds from behind her ball gag increased somewhat. Thankfully, it held.

"Ah, Yaya-chan, I was just entertaining Tsubomi-chan until you got home. You're late!" Yaya tried not to find the fact that Hikari's nose was glistening slightly erotic. She walked over and removed the ballgag.

"Yaya-sempai! It's not what it looks like!" Tsubomi spluttered, Yaya grimaced, Tsubomi had never managed to get used to dropping that suffix. It was quite cute in the throes of passion though. "She came over, she said she wanted to borrow a cup of sugar and next thing I knew I was tied up on the bed and…and…"

The first time she had come home to this Yaya had burst a blood vessel and had had to spend the remainder of the evening bent over the sink holding her nose. By now, it was just mildly amusing. "Hikari, please stop molesting my girlfriend," she admonished the girl reluctantly untying Tsubomi from the bed.

"But she's so fun to play with!" Hikari grinned. She sauntered over to her. "I think she's beginning to like it, you know, Yaya-chan," she whispered. "You'd better get in there quickly or I _might_ just take her first."

Yaya rolled her eyes.

It was going to be a long night.

Epilogue end.


End file.
